Rememberance

Monday, November 15^th, 2010

Today I experienced something that no tourist ever will and so rare that very few volunteers for African Impact ever will either. One year ago today a much-loved teacher from the preschool pasted away after a long battle against an unknown illness. Our morning at preschool was spent remembering and honoring Esparanza. Before we left to school this morning I volunteered to cut flowers from our resort gardens to take along with us. They were a vibrant fuchsia; after seeing her beautiful smile in a picture it seemed as though they couldn’t have matched her personality better.

After playtime we gathered the kids up to walk to the cemetery. The two school teachers Zailia and Delyndia lead the way humming and singing a soft song in which we could not understand but it was without a doubt in commemoration of their friend. Delyndia balanced a large pale of water on her head while Zailia carried the flowers I picked along with a few they had brought as well. It’s hard to know what the kids were thinking, but they knew what was going on to some extent. They were all a bit quieter than average and some very clingy. We walked together in small groups; I had two on both sides of me. Meena and Mosash were holding hands to the right and Delcia and Clousia were on the left.

Without someone to follow I could have easily gotten lost.  Along the way we trudged on the hot sand, passed through a community of huts and dodged thorn bushes (that the kids love to play in). Before we even realized it, it was as if were in a secret spot under a large tree. Flattened mounds of dirt raised from the ground with only a small piece of wood with a name and a date on top, some had a shell or flower to mark the rows of graves before us. After finding Esparanza’s grave on the end of the row, the kids circled around it holding hands, the teachers still singing, only a bit louder now as the rest of us a step behind them. Along with us came a handful of stragglers that I did not recognize from school and a young girl about 12 years old with a baby (about 18 moths old) tied to her back. The girl stood next to me as everyone watched the teachers get down on their knees and clean the dead leaves off the grave, and then they started to churn the sand/soil on top with their hands to make it look fresh again. As I glanced over I saw a small tear trickle down the cheek of the young girl next to me. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly. Receiving a light squeeze in return I knew that I was accepted graciously. After the teachers finished grooming the grave they handed out the flowers one by one to every kid then allowed them to place them in the dirt as decoration. Then they handed them out to us and let us do the same. Last they handed what was left in a small bouquet to the girl next to me. My hunch was then confirmed that the girl was Esparanza’s daughter holding her baby. Letting go of her hand and watching her bury the end of the bouquet in the ground at the end of the grave just about broke my heart in two. Last Delyndia cupped water in her hands and sprinkled it on the grave while Zailia sang. I’m not exactly sure what he water symbolized but it was as if they were cleansing the ground and refreshing Esparanza with moisture and beauty.

As tears were running down my face, for the first time, I looked up and saw all my peers in the same emotional state. It was such an overwhelming moment. The thought of anyone losing a parent is heart-rending, but knowing this sweet baby will never even know its mother was a crushing thought. The girl was so strong but so subtle. I’m sure she has taken on the majority of her mother’s role at home and looks after the baby as her own. I wish I could have given her so much more than just a small bit of compassion. But I will always be grateful just to have had the opportunity to share this day of remembrance with her and everyone who clearly loved Esparanza so dearly.